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VARIOUS THINGS

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FASCINATING MATERIAL

GOOD LUCK MR GRONSKI

This story is hard to verify because the person in question is dead, but if it is true, it's very funny. So this is how it goes. When US astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first man to set foot on the moon, he spoke some immortal words: "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind".

But what was not broadcast on that momentous occasion was something that Armstrong muttered immediately after those words. Apparently Armstrong whispered: "Good luck Mr Gronski". For decades, NASA personnel who were aware of this had never been able to get Armstrong to reveal why he said this. But here is the explanation.

When Neil Armstrong was a little kid playing in his backyard, he happened to overhear an argument between his neighbours, Mr and Mrs Gronski. When Mr Gronski complained that his wife refused to give him a blowjob, Mrs Gronski allegedly shouted, "Gronski, you will get a blowjob from me when that kid next door walks on the moon."


THE WISDOM OF THOMAS SOWELL

Why are so many colleges and universities openly opposed to permitting Thomas Sowell to lecture their students and faculties? Sowell grew up in Harlem, New York City. He served in the Marine Corps during the Korean War, graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard University and obtained a Master’s degree from Columbia University. He is an economist, social theorist, philosopher, author, senior fellow at the Hoover institution, Stanford University. He is a recipient of the National Humanities Medal, Francis Boyer Award and other honours. Sowell said the following:

No society ever thrived because it had a large and growing class of parasites living off those who produce.

The next time some academics tell you how important diversity is, as how many conservatives there are in their sociology department.

Too much of what is called “education” is little more than an expensive isolation from reality.

The welfare state is the oldest con game in the world. First you take people’s money away quietly and then you give some of it back to them flamboyantly.

It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions into the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong.

One of the consequences of such notions as “entitlements” is that people who have contributed nothing to society feel that society owes them something, apparently just for being nice enough to grace us with their presence.

I have never understood why it is “greed” to want to keep the money you’ve earned, but not greed to want to take somebody else’s money.

Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has been a history of replacing what worked with what sounded good.


THE WISDOM OF WINSTON CHURCHILL

The following revelations are attributed to the wartime leader of Britain and they are very wise words indeed.

Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.

You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.

Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.

A nation that forgets its past has no future.

The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible.

If you're not a liberal at twenty, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative at forty, you have no brain.

Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.

There is nothing government can give you that it hasn't taken from you in the first place.

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

A pessimist seen the difficulty in every opportunity: an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

If Britain must choose between Europe and the open sea, she must always choose the open sea.

One man with conviction will overwhelm a hundred who have only opinions.

The main vice of capitalism is the uneven distribution of prosperity. The main vice of socialism is the even distribution of misery.

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.

You don't make the poor richer by making the rich poorer.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Life can either be accepted changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.

We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

I'd rather argue against a hundred idiots than have one agree with me.

Islam is more dangerous in a man than rabies in a dog.

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.

Life is fraught with opportunities to keep your mouth shut.

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.


CONUNDRUMS OF THE USA

Free people are not equal. Equal people are not free. (Think this one over and over…makes sense!)

A gun is like a parachute. If you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again.

Here are six Conundrums of socialism in the United States of America.

  1. America is capitalist and greedy - yet half of the population is subsidised.

  2. Half of the population is subsidised - yet they think they are victims.

  3. They think they are victims - yet their representatives run the government.

  4. Their representatives run the government - yet the poor keep getting poorer.

  5. The poor keep getting poorer - yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.

  6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about - yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

Think about it! And that pretty much sums up the USA in the 21st Century. It makes you wonder who is doing the math.

These three, short sentences tell you a lot about the direction of the current US government and cultural environment.

  1. Americans are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but they are encouraged to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics. It's funny how that works. And here's another one worth considering.

  2. Americans constantly hear about how Social Security is going to run out of money. But they never hear about welfare or food stamps running out of money. What's interesting is the first group worked for their money, but the second didn't. Think about it. Last but not least:

  3. Why are Americans cutting benefits for their war veterans, not giving pay raises for their military and cutting their army to a level lower than before World War Two, but they are not stopping the payments or benefits to illegal aliens.

"If you do not take an interest in the affairs of your government, then you are doomed to live under the rule of fools." - Plato.


TERRIBLY WRONG TECHNOLOGY PREDICTIONS

1876: "The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys." — William Preece, British Post Office.

1876: "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication." — President of Western Union, William Orton.

1903: "The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a novelty - a fad." — President of the Michigan Savings Bank, advising Henry Ford's lawyer not to invest in the Ford Motor Company.

1943: "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." — Chairman of IBM, Thomas Watson.

1946: "Television won't be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night." — 20th Century Fox studio executive Darryl Zanuck.

1959: "Before man reaches the moon, your mail will be delivered within hours from New York to Australia by guided missiles. We stand on the threshold of rocket mail." — US Postmaster General, Arthur Summerfield.

1961: "There is practically no chance communications space satellites will be used to provide better telephone, telegraph, television or radio service inside the United States." — Federal Communications Commission commissioner TAM Craven.

1966: "Remote shopping, while entirely feasible, will flop." — Time Magazine.

1977: "There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home." — Founder of Digital Equipment Corp Ken Olsen, in a speech to the World Future Society.

1981: "Cellular phones will absolutely not replace local wire systems." — Inventor Marty Cooper

1995: "I predict the Internet will soon go spectacularly supernova and in 1996 catastrophically collapse." — Founder of 3 Com, Robert Metcalfe.

1996: "Apple is a chaotic mess without a strategic vision and certainly no future." — Time Magazine.

1996: "Apple's erratic performance has given it the reputation on Wall Street of a stock a long-term investor would probably avoid." — Fortune Magazine.

1996: "Whether they stand alone or are acquired, Apple as we know it is cooked. It's so classic. It's so sad." — Forrester Research analyst quoted in the New York Times.

1997: "Apple is already dead." — Former Microsoft CTO Nathan Myhrvold.

2002: "Within five years, I predict the tablet will be the most popular form of PC sold in America." — Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates in a speech at Comdex introducing the Windows tablet PC.

2003: "The subscription model of buying music is bankrupt. I think you could make available the Second Coming in a subscription model, and it might not be successful." — Steve Jobs interview with Rolling Stone.

2004: "Two years from now, spam will be solved." — Bill Gates at the World Economic Forum

2006: "Everyone's always asking me when Apple will come out with a cell phone. My answer is, 'Probably never.'" — New York Times journalist David Pogue

2007: "There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share." — Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer.


THE IDIOCY OF ENGLISH

If anybody wondered why immigrants from non-English-speaking nations find it so difficult to grasp the English language, especially the spelling, here is the explanation. Just one common suffix - "ough" - will demonstrate the utter stupidity and illogic of English.

This is only a small example of the many illogical ways that English is written and pronounced, so we should feel very sorry for anybody who is trying to learn the language. Foreigners completely mastering English from scratch are few and far between.


ORIGINS

In the 1400s, a law was passed in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have the "Rule Of Thumb".

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden" and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter was "Tom Sawyer".

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have one thing in common. All were invented by women.

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When somebody pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on, hence the phrase "Goodnight, sleep tight".

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "Mind your Ps and Qs".

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.


RANDOM FACTS

The shortest war on record was fought between England and Zanzibar in 1890. Zanzibar surrendered in 38 minutes.

Iceland consumes the most Coca Cola per capita in the world.

Lake Superior in the USA is the world's largest body of fresh water.

New Zealand was the first country to allow women to vote.

Iran, formerly Persia, is the oldest country in the world.

The Queen of England has a toilet with a diamond seat and marble base.

Libya is the only country with a solid single coloured flag. It is green.

Saluting derived from the custom of knights raising their visors when passing their monarchs.

In Alaska it is illegal to look at a moose from any flying vehicle.

People in England used to wash their faces with urine to keep them smooth and pale.

Mauna Kea on the island of Hawaii is the highest mountain in the world when measured from its underwater base.

Ancient Vikings navigated their ships using fleas because fleas always jump to the north.

Every day, more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can, but women can hear better.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David, Hearts - Charlemagne, Clubs -Alexander the Great, Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

The only food that doesn't spoil is honey.